Fun at the Farm!

The past couple of weekends Mom, Aunt Karen and I have been at my grandparents farm going through their house getting ready for their Estate Sale. That has been a very emotional, difficult process for us! So many memories...

Today Sayer went with me for the first time since Grandpa's funeral in January. He had such a good time! We walked all over the farm enjoying the trees, the shade, the breeze and every smell! I couldn't help but shed a few tears walking around their land as I thought about what it was like to spend time there as a kid climbing trees, riding 4-wheelers and just being with my grandparents! Some of the best memories of my life!!!

I mourned the fact that my son will never be able to experience life on the farm like I did with Grandpa and Grandma Williams. And in just a few short months we won't be able to go to the farm and walk around and enjoy it as we have my entire life! I know my grandparents would have enjoyed spending time on the farm with my son (their first great grandson) like nothing else in the entire world!

Today Grandpapa Jenks fired the tractor up for the first time in a long time and was able to share the same joy that my Grandpa shared with my brother, Justin and I, giving his own grandson a tractor ride. Sayer loved it! And I'm pretty sure Grandpa and Grandma Williams were smiling down from heaven enjoying it just the same!

Great Grandpa Freddie - an amazing man

Last Tuesday just before midnight my Grandpa passed away in the comfort of my parents' house surrounded by his family - my mom, my aunt and my dad.

I was blessed enough to be off on maternity leave so Sayer and I were able to spend his last days on this earth with him. Tuesday we were there for a couple of hours holding his hand and talking to him. Even though he couldn't respond I know that he knew we were there. I then went back to the house that night and spent another couple of hours with him... reassuring him that it was okay to leave this earth and enter heaven to be with grandma. I left just a couple of hours before he passed away. When I left the house I knew that it would probably be the last time that I would see him alive. My prayer that night before I drifted to sleep was that God take him soon... my dad called just before midnight to tell me to come over, but before I could make it there he had passed away.

You know how you always hear that phrase "Everything happens for a reason." Well, I am a true believer in that. Last December when I miscarried, my mom and I had a conversation about just that. The just of our conversation was that God might have an alternate plan in place so that a baby might be a much needed blessing to our entire family at a later date.

I think that my grandpa held on for so long so that he could meet his first great grandson and celebrate his first Christmas with him. He did just that - and for that I am extremely thankful! Those memories will be ones that I will hold onto forever. Sayer has been an extreme blessing to our entire family... where there is death there is also life. It is the true Circle of Life!

Grandpa, I will miss you more than you will ever know, but I am happy that you are once again reunited with Grandma. I am thankful that you were able to meet your first great grandchild and you were able to hold him in your arms. Thank you for all of the memories and for loving your wife, your daughters, your grandchildren, and your greatgrandchild everyday of your life. I will love you forever. Ashley

These pictures were taken on Sunday... two days before Grandpa passed away he was holding Sayer.